Let me tell you about one of my best friends, Nicole. Nicole and I met freshman year of high school through a mutual friend at a cafeteria lunch table. We didn’t become friends immediately. In fact, I don’t think we were too fond of each other when we first met!

It’s hard to say when we first became friends because after 13 years, it gets a little blurry. Nicole and I became especially close my senior year of high school when we were both in choir, and also had the same job (hey Lifetime Fitness!). We were practically inseparable the summer before college, and I was SOOO sad when she went to ASU and I went all the way up to NAU (2.5 hours away). I spent so many weekends visiting Nicole at ASU, where we dabbled in frat parties where we clearly didn’t belong, along with the occasional road trip to California.

After college, I moved to Chicago and Nicole moved to Brooklyn, but we kept in touch. Nicole and I have a friendship where we can go weeks without talking to each other, but then talk on the phone for 4 hours (literally). I always think it’s so funny when I look down at my phone and realize that hours have gone by because she has always been so easy to talk to and we always have a lot to catch up on. Luckily, last year Nicole started using g-chat, and since it’s my main method of communication, we talk even more.

Oh, and you may recognize her from my post about our calendars we made in 2017! We love working together on creative projects and hope to make many more in the future.

13 years is a really long time to be friends with someone! When I think about how many friendships have faded in that time (even since college), I am amazed that her and I continue to be close. Nicole is sooo beyond caring, sweet, kind, non-judgmental, a really good listener, very creative and talented, and she has a fantastic sense of humor. Who wouldn’t want to be her friend forever?! Nicole’s friendship means the absolute world to me, and I am so lucky that she’s my friend!

A few weeks ago, a new, woman-owned company in New York called Small Packages reached out to me to see if I’d want to send a package to a friend. Small Packages curates boxes for you to send to the women in your life–for any reason and at a bunch of different price points. All of their boxes are either $35, $50, or $100 plus shipping. I don’t know about you, but that’s the best pricing breakdown I’ve seen yet of all the box gifting companies!

Given all of the reasons above, I just knew I had to send it to Nicole.

You write a note to your person and they will handwrite it for you! Nicole has called me “Audwee” since forever so I obviously had to sign it with that.

I chose to send Nicole the “When You Miss Her” box, which had a lot of things I thought she’d really enjoy.

This is the $100 level box, but the other levels have a lot of the same items. What I really love about these boxes is that the $35 one doesn’t seem cheap at all–whereas other box gifting companies will give you, like, one teabag for $20. For example, the $35 box of “When You Miss Her” includes a handwritten card, a fancy chocolate bar, Tattly temporary tattoos, a stationary set, and Fatty Sundays pretzel bites! Not bad for something that makes your BFF feel like the most appreciated person in the world.

Nicole has famous cats–Sola and Luna! I love them.

Another thing I love about these boxes is that they don’t just include knick knacks (I HATE knick knacks)! Everything in these boxes is stuff I’d ACTUALLY use myself, which again, isn’t typical of gift box companies. There is just so much that sets Small Packages apart!

ALSO! Small Packages will be doing a Limited Edition Galentine’s Day box! There are only 50 boxes total, and the contents are adorable and perfect. Get yours here!

I should also mention how crazy easy it was to place the order for my Small Packages box. I did it on my phone on the bus ride home from work… so simple!

Thank you to Small Packages for partnering on this post and for making my BFF feel loved! I can’t recommend this company enough.

If you liked this post, you may like:
How to Care For and Maintain Adult Friendships
The Best Chocolate Chip Banana Bread
Meet The Artist: Katherine Corden

The post A 13-year Friendship That Means The World To Me appeared first on love always, audrey.

Happy 2019! I can’t believe it’s already 3 weeks into the new year… and I’ve only read half of one book, ha! I’ve got to get a move on this year, as my goal is 25 books this year.

I read a lot in 2018 (19 to be exact!), and since many people ask me for book recommendations, I wanted to outline the best books of 2018 (at least in my opinion!)–and the reasons why I loved them so much.

Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi

I have to admit, the cover and description of this book really did not have me interested at first glance. I actually picked up a copy of this at work on our free table, but didn’t start reading it until two of my favorite podcasters started talking about how great it was! Children of Blood and Bone is a fantasy novel about kids who make it their mission to bring back magic in a land where magical people have been subjected to genocide. Yes, pretty heavy, but this is actually a YA book! The story has adventure, violence, betrayal, friendship, and even love. I highly recommend!

Good book club pick? Yes!

Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens

Oh my gosh, this book. I could not put it down once I got into it (it took about 30 pages or so). I so deeply adored the main characters, and was genuinely upset when it was over. Where the Crawdads Sing is about a young girl named Kya Clark, who lives in the marsh in very rural North Carolina. She is known as the Marsh Girl, lives alone, and is absolutely in love with nature. While the book is centered around a mystery, to me it was so, so much more than that. I hold this book close to my heart.

Good book club pick? Yes!

The Alice Network by Kate Quinn

The Alice Network is about a young girl who goes on a quest to find her beloved cousin who disappeared in Nazi-occupied France during WWII. It also tells the story of a female spy during WWI. The story is told equally between post-WWII and WWI, which is one of my favorite types of stories to read. I love when books jump around between perspectives and times, and I also love historical fiction, so this book really got me.

Good book club pick? Meh.

The Great Alone by Kristin Hannah

I loved this book. The Great Alone is set in very rural Alaska during the 70’s, where a 13-year-old girl, Leni, and her parents learn how to survive the winters and wild of their new home. As if their lives couldn’t be any harder on a homestead in Alaska’s wilderness, Leni’s father is an abusive alcoholic who mentally imprisons both Leni and her mother. The Great Alone was hard to read at times, but an incredibly riveting story that I very much loved.

Note: Kristin Hannah also wrote one of my other favorite stories, The Nightingale. If you haven’t read that, read it first!

Good book club pick? Yes!

An American Marriage by Tayari Jones

I have a lot of feelings about this book. The writing was beautiful, and it invoked a lot of really great conversations between my friends and I. An American Marriage is about a newlywed couple whose world is rocked when the husband gets arrested and convicted for a crime he didn’t commit. He is expected to be in jail for a very long time, but gets out early only to find out that everything in his life, especially his marriage, has drastically changed. “What would you do in this situation?” is a question my friends and I pondered, and it made for some very lively discussions (especially with our significant others, ha!).

Good book club pick? Yes!

The Heart’s Invisible Furies by John Boyne

UGH you guys, this book was incredible. I can’t even explain how much I loved it. It’s a long one–592 pages–but every page is riveting, heartbreaking, whimsical, and everything in between. I loved the story so much. The Heart’s Invisible Furies follows a young man throughout his life in Dublin during the 1940’s on. There’s not much else I can say about it without giving it away, but it’s a story of a lifetime of getting to know yourself and how everything in life comes full circle in the end.

Good book club pick? Yes!

Educated by Tara Westover

What a story. While the truth of some of this memoir is being questioned by characters involved, it is a riveting and heartbreaking story nonetheless. Tara Westover grew up in a survivalist family in the mountains of Idaho, and never set foot in a classroom until she was age 17. Educated is a true story of resilience and the ultimate quest for knowledge. I cannot recommend this book highly enough.

Good book club pick? Yes!

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid

This might be one of the most addictive books I read all year! I think I read this in about… 3 days. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo is about a famous film actress who tells her entire life story to a budding journalist. They form an unlikely friendship, and it turns out that Evelyn’s life story is not at all that it seems to the general public. It definitely got me wondering about the private lives of celebrities now.

Good book club pick? Meh, maybe!

The Immortalists by Chloe Benjamin

I had a hard time with whether or not to put this book on my best of 2018 list. While I absolutely hated the writing style, I loved the story. The Immortalists is about a set of siblings who go to see a psychic when they are very young–and this psychic tells them all the exact date in the future that they will die. How the teenagers process this information and how it affects their lives varies greatly, and it begs the question: do we really want to know what the future holds? This story is very thought provoking, so I recommend it for that aspect alone.

Good book club pick? Yes!

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What’s Next?

I have so many books on my list for 2019. Read them with me!

Erotic Stories for Punjabi Widows by Balli Kaur Jaswal (reading now!)

The Thousandth Floor Series #2 and #3 by Katharine McGee

The Wedding Date by Jasmine Guilllory

All We Ever Wanted by Emily Giffin

The Female Persuasion by Meg Wolitzer

Choose Your Own Disaster by Dana Schwartz

We Were the Lucky Ones by Georgia Hunter

Maybe in Another Life by Taylor Jenkins Reid

All Your Perfects by Colleen Hoover

Matchmaking for Beginners by Maddie Dawson

Next Year in Havana by Chanel Cleeton

Attached by Amir Levine

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If you liked this post, you’ll like:
The Best Books I Read in 2016
Favorite Books of 2015

The post The Best Books I Read in 2018 appeared first on love always, audrey.

Ah, lucky number 13! And the first this & that of the year. I spent the holiday season at home in Phoenix with mine and Idan’s families. We were there for 2 and a half weeks! It went super fast and super slow at the same time. It also was rainy and gloomy and cold almost the whole time we were there… go figure! We also got ENGAGED when we were home! Idan proposed in Sedona and surprised me with both sets of parents there. I am still floating on cloud 9 and don’t think I’ll ever come down. I’m going to do my best not to talk about engagement or wedding stuff too much on here, because I think some things should be kept private.

We also booked a trip to Israel in March which I am so so excited for! Between that and wedding planning, I am staying quite busy this year! My Etsy shop is back open for business now that things are semi back to normal, so if you have any custom bachelorette party needs, I’m your girl!

Sending all the good vibes your way for an amazing 2019!

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Links I Love

This pom pom throw has got me feeling hygge AF. Pictured above!

A few good productivity hacks.

Idan sent me this article about name pronunciation and why it matters so much. Up until now, he used “Dan” as his Starbucks name because nobody could figure his real name out. This is why he’s not doing that anymore. (P.S. it’s “EE-don” )

What’s going on with Flywheel and SoulCycle? My friend Bethany breaks it down.

Did you finish The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel season 2 yet? It went wayyyy too fast!! If you love the show, you’ll love these books.

This post from The Everygirl breaks down if you should start investing or not… definitely something to think about!

Jess went to Portugal and now I want to go to Portugal.

I am obsessed with this Chicago Gold Coast condo–this girl has STYLE.

My friend Cody started a blog!! Her post about makeup got me–do you feel comfortable leaving the house without makeup?

10 beautiful small towns in France. Also, 10 safety tips for female travelers in Paris from my friend Rebecca.

The staff of Cupcakes & Cashmere review the best things they watched and read in 2018. How many of these have you watched/read?

My all-time favorite fitness studio in Chicago has opened a brand-new Lincoln Park location! It’s right at the intersection of Fullerton/Lincoln/Halsted and the space is gorgeous. They’re doing a week unlimited pass for only $35 right now–email [email protected] to claim. You can’t have taken a class there in the last 6 months to be eligible!

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On The Blog:

The best chocolate chip banana bread EVER.

A fun craft for 2019: mi casa es su casa doormats

Meet the artist: Katherine Corden

A money-saving tip you probably don’t know about.

Gift ideas for the feminist in your life.

The post this & that, volume 13 appeared first on love always, audrey.

On Saturday, Tori and I hosted our annual mug and cookie exchange party! Everyone brings a batch of cookies and a mug ~$15. We do the mug exchange white elephant style and people steal from each other… it’s really fun! And everyone leaves with a baggie full of assorted cookies. We’ve done this every year we’ve lived together and it’s fun to see how it’s evolved over the years… see the group picture from our first year below!

I had one of the best brunches of my LIFE this morning in Lincoln Park at Broken Barrel Bar (Southport/Wrightwood). Chef Bryant Anderson had my friend Julie and I in to try out their new brunch menu and we were both so impressed. We had the Hangover Breakfast Sandwich, the Fried Chicken Sandwich, the Chocolate Chip Banana Pancakes, and some really amazing chicken wings. It was so hard to pick a favorite dish! A bit of what we ordered was on the seasonal menu, but the Hangover Breakfast Sandwich and the wings are staples there. Try not to drool looking at the menu!

Not only is the food incredible–Broken Barrel Bar is the perfect place to watch a football game in Lincoln Park! Julie and I were both saying how we’d love to bring our boyfriends back because they’d be obsessed with it.

I really, really, really recommend this place! Thank you so much to Chef Bryant for having us in.

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Links I Love:

This mug cracks me up WAY too much and I think I need it.

This wall art is really cool. And it’s on sale!

This is cute: 6 great things that real bookstores all have.

Hanukkah may be over, but if you don’t know what it’s about, this is an easy explanation for next year!

I made these cookies from Monique’s blog recently and there was not a crumb left. SO. GOOD.

I love my friend Beth’s article about why our generation loves food halls so much. She nailed it, don’t you think?

Is there anything the Barefoot Contessa makes that isn’t delicious? This recipe for crispy mustard chicken & frisée looks amazing.

I updated my photography blog a bit as I’m trying to get back into my portrait photography business! And I ordered a new lens. And I’m taking an online course to refresh my skills a bit. Here we goooo!

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On The Blog: 

An easy dessert bar you can make over the holidays!

Free holiday wallpapers for your computer or phone!

Where to eat in Chicago.

The post this & that, volume 12 appeared first on love always, audrey.

Thanksgiving is coming up so fast! I’m headed to Washington DC for Thanksgiving to spend it with Idan’s family; how about you?

Because I’m not always super useful in the kitchen (unless I’m baking), I thought it would be nice to bring some decor items to spruce up the Thanksgiving table a bit. We’ll see how much I actually have time to make, or how much I can realistically bring on a plane… I pulled together some cute DIYs from across the web that I thought would help make your Thanksgiving a little more fun (if pie doesn’t do it for ya)!

Corn husk candy favors – These are just darling, don’t you think? And super, super easy. These would also be a great gift for co-workers to thank them for a November well done. And they could be great place cards as well!

Leaf napkin rings – These are made pretty easily with air dry clay and add a handmade touch to any dinner table, especially Thanksgiving!

Pie-painted macarons – Oh come on, how cute are these?! Probably not for the faint of heart, but I have faith in you. You could totally buy store-bought macarons to make these, too! Nobody will ever know.

Pie Stencils – Click through for even more pie stencils where this came from (this one was my favorite out of the bunch). Super easy, and again, could definitely be done with store-bought pie (Costco makes the best pumpkin pie!!).

Pumpkin pie garland – SO EASY! And so stinking cute. I wanna eat it.

Pumpkin pie placecard boxes – Fill with candy! You can either place one at each person’s seat, or put them all together into a pie and have everyone grab one later as a treat! Also, if you don’t have a Cricut or Silhouette machine, you can always hand-write peoples’ names.

Other fun Thanksgiving things!

How to host a Friendsgiving dinner 

The post 6 Thanksgiving DIY Projects to Make Your Table FUN! appeared first on love always, audrey.

Helloooo from Phoenix! I’m in town for my last wedding of the year! For those of you who know me well, you know that I’ve been to 9 weddings this year. The one thing that has been my saving grace during this crazy season is my RTR Unlimited subscription… I’ll get into that more in another post.

I’ve been reading a LOT on the internet this week so have tons of links to share with you.

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Links I Love:

I saw this book in a bookstore last night and was cracking up. No matter what your politics are, you have to admit this would be a hilarious coffee table book. Or at least a fantastic white elephant exchange present.

I just burned my favorite pumpkin candle completely down so it’s time for a new one… I’ve heard that this one is fabulous and I also love the Capri Blue brand generally, so this one is probably amazing, too. If you’re into handmade candles, this is the candle that I lovingly burned all the way down to its tin. Is the word “candle” starting to sound weird to anyone else?

This list of 100 websites that changed the world gave me serious nostalgia. I admit I was mainly checking on it to make sure Neopets was on there (spoiler: it is). What websites defined your early internet days?

I loved this post from Jess about botox. As I get closer and closer to 30, I feel like it’s something my friends and I actually talk about (mostly from a preventative standpoint). There are so many good points on both sides of it, and I love that Jess opened up the conversation for everyone. Read the comments, too!

Grace shared a super cozy sweater, and more importantly, started a conversation around sharing on social media. How much is too much? And should people be posting pictures and details about their kids? I have so much to say on this subject and loved reading her perspective. Again, read the comments! So many good thoughts there.

This blog goes over all of Meghan Markle’s outfits and finds dupes (or links to the real things) and it gives me LIFE. Meghan is definitely my style icon so any way I can copy her style is a win for me.

This article has been making its rounds on the internet and for good reason–would you ever date without texting?

Monique shared a recipe for healthy soft pumpkin cookies with a salted maple frosting. Ummm…. yes. please.

Hilton is launching a new, millennial-centric hotel concept and I am HERE FOR IT. It looks like they really nailed it and listened to the needs of our generation. Now, where to first?

I can’t believe all of these products are from Ikea.

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On The Blog:

Host or hostess gifts for Thanksgiving dinner. Don’t show up empty handed!

Host your own Friendsgiving dinner!

11 places to get your creativity on in Chicago. This is especially helpful with the cold winter months coming right up!

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Quote of the Week:

“First, choose from the options that thrill you.
Then, choose the ones that also teach you.
And from these, choose the scariest.”

-TUT, a note from the universe (an email I get daily)

The post this & that, volume 11 appeared first on love always, audrey.

Happy Sunday from Chicago! I say this loosely–I am currently on the Amtrak back from Ann Arbor, where I spent part of the weekend with Idan. We tailgated for the Michigan game, but didn’t end up going because the weather was pretty crummy. Luckily I like tailgating WAY more than I like football.

This Fall is NUTS. We have had 4 weddings already and have 3 more lined up for the next 3 weekends. To say we’re exhausted is an understatement, but we love celebrating with friends… especially when we get to go home to Phoenix for them!

Without further ado… links I’m loving:

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Links I Love:

In case you missed it, I made these decals for women to put in their shower to remind themselves to check themselves. I’m donating a portion of the proceeds to Bright Pink, an organization whose mission I strongly believe in.

5 science-backed ways that taking a break boosts our production.

Do affirmations really work?

These built-for-Instagram places like A Happy Place and The Color Factory seriously make me sad. And I found an author who agrees.

I have been using this free app to split bills with friends when we go out for meals. It has been a COMPLETE GAME CHANGER!

Jess’ Chicago staycation looked absolutely perfect. So perfect that I tagged Idan in her Instagram posts as a not-so-subtle hint. 

I’ve been getting hit hard with Sézane ads on Facebook and I can see why I’m their target market–they are now my obsession! Their sweaters in particular have been calling my name, specifically this one.

Charlotte’s homemade cinnamon applesauce looks divine.

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On The Blog

I hosted a fall-themed garden Shabbat dinner a few weeks ago. It was lovely.

‘Tis the season! What to buy a newly-engaged friend.

I decorated my whole apartment last year for Halloween for $20. As if that weren’t reason enough to get a Cricut machine!

Not all of this is relevant again this year, but here’s my Fall post from last year. Recipes, wish list, playlist… it’s a good one.

The post this & that, volume 10 appeared first on love always, audrey.

I couldn’t wait even 4 days to blog about this Shabbat dinner. Similar to last year’s rooftop Shabbat, I got a call from my friend Marissa from OneTable who wanted to put together a Shabbat al-fresco towards the end of summer. After how well last year turned out, how could I say no?

The Venue

The dinner was in the garden at Christy Webber Farm & Garden–a branch of Christy Webber Landscapes in Chicago. The idea of having a Shabbat dinner outside in a garden sounded too good to be true to me; luckily, it exceeded even my wildest dreams.

The Tablescapes

I love a good tablescape. My new friends at Christy Webber Farm & Garden helped me out in this department–I had a vision and they elevated it with fresh greenery, pumpkins, and gourds! I brought the tablecloths, gold chargers, and plastic plates and silverware.

I also made the candlesticks. They are SO easy to make (exactly like these DIY menorahs from last year), and I bought the actual candles from the dollar store. I outfitted all the tables for about $20 and 10 minutes of work. You just glue the 3/4″ copper tubing  (specifically called a “coupling”) from Home Depot to these wooden blocks. If you don’t feel like making your own candlesticks, the below are just as cute!

I bought all the tablecloths, plates, plastic silverware, etc. on Amazon:

The Place Cards

I created these place cards using my Cricut (shocker), and they turned out really cute! I just cut out a square with a score line in the middle, and cut a leaf shape out on one side of them. I used a white gel pen to write people’s names, and voila! I put the place cards inside so people would see them on their way out to the garden. (See more Cricut projects here)

The Wine

I don’t think it’s a secret at this point that I’m obsessed with Chloe Wine. Their pinot grigio is my go-to, and I was so happy they offered to provide the wine for this special evening! There was barely a drop left at the end of the night. Plus, it’s so pretty!

The Appetizer

As an appetizer, I put together a cheese board made with goodies from Trader Joes. It’s surprisingly easy to put together cheese boards like you see at fancy events; I couldn’t believe how well it turned out! Shout out to my friend Lauren who helped me set up the dinner AND put the final cheese board together. I just bought all the supplies!

Everything you see here on the cheese board was about $50 total (for the food):

• 2 apples
• Blueberries
• Red grapes
• Cheddar cheese
• Goat cheese
• Gruyere cheese
• Apple jam
• Fig & olive crisps
• Brioche toasts
• Assorted crackers

The actual marble slab ($50) is a Crate & Barrel piece I bought this year. It’s extremely heavy, but I can’t tell you how many compliments I get on it. It is sooo perfect for these types of large appetizers, and I keep it on display in my kitchen when it’s not in use!

The Main Course

For dinner, I had Doc B’s catered. The manager at the River North location was so nice; we basically called him and said “we have 30 people coming for dinner and want to keep it light; here’s our budget, can you help us put together a menu?”, and he put together the perfect dinner. It was an assortment of salads and 2 sandwich platters. I would 100000% order from them again!

Side note: the dishes that went the fastest were the Tangled Noodle Salad and the Brussels Sprouts Salad. I highly recommend these dishes if you’re ordering from them!

The Dessert

Sadly I didn’t photograph the dessert, and I’m not entirely sure how I missed this! I picked up black and white cookies from Manny’s Deli in Chicago. They are the yummiest and I just cannot resist a black and white cookie. The key is to get a bite of both the chocolate side and vanilla side at the same time. If you don’t get that reference, please see here.

I should also mention that my friend Eshley also made 3 dessert challahs, so we were SET in the sweets department.

Thank you so much to everyone who helped make my dream Shabbat a reality!

• Effie at Christy Webber Farm & Garden for being the most gracious host I could ever ask for
• My friend Lauren for coming 2 hours early to help me set up
• My friend Eshley for making SIX challahs, which were gone in approximately six seconds
• My friend Taryn for candy-ing the almonds for the cheese board, and for taking a ton of photos when I was busy setting up and greeting people
• OneTable for providing the grant that made this dinner happen; if you’re looking to host or attend a Shabbat dinner in your city, sign up for their platform! It’s the BEST!
• All 30 people who showed up, ate good food, drank good wine, and spent the most wonderful evening together making new friends

The post End-of-Summer Garden Shabbat appeared first on love always, audrey.

Live from New York, it’s this & that! But really, I’m in New York this week. I’m visiting Idan, who is almost done with his summer internship in the city! Then it’s back to grad school in Michigan, and then he’ll graduate in May, and holycraphowdoestimegosofast.

I digress. Life has been a little insane lately (and by that, I mean a LOT). With ramping up my Etsy shop, in addition to #summertimechi, and also having a full-time job, I am filling up every hour of every day. But you guys know I thrive on that. I’ve had so little time for online reading, so this column has certainly taken a hit, BUT I have been reading a lot of books. Reading helps me wind down before bed (I usually read until I fall asleep), and you can see some of my most recent favorites here on my Amazon page.

Here are some links I’ve gathered in the last few months. I think you’ll enjoy!

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This week’s links:

16 early risers share their morning secrets.

“Self-care” is not all baths, face masks, and “treat yo’self” moments. It’s this.

This DIY hidden medicine cabinet is SO good. I think I’ve found my next home project!

I love this DIY copper magazine holder!

This writer doesn’t give a damn what you think of her summer body. YOU GO GIRL.

Ever hated a book but still finished it? I’m guilty as charged. Here’s why this happens to you.

Oh, you guys. I am so obsessed with this French sculptural art.

Charlotte’s mini fruit pies recipe looks SOOOOO GOOD.

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In case you missed it (from the blog):

What to buy a newly-engaged friend.

Your health questions, answered by a naturopath.

Chocolate-covered mochi for an easy summer treat!

Cheaper Nordstrom anniversary sale picks for 2018.

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I hope you’re having the best summer! xo

The post this & that, volume 9 appeared first on love always, audrey.

This could be surprising, but I personally struggle with what to do and say when something bad happens to someone I love. I almost never say the right thing, and it’s mostly because I am so scared of saying the wrong thing. I’m always working on this (and this book by Emily McDowell helped a bit!), but I was very happy to hear about a new company that’s helping people like myself send love to people who need it.

Arona Martin, a local Chicagoan, is here to help. When her friend Jessica was diagnosed with cancer, she gave her gifts that helped Jessica immensely. From this experience, Arona founded It’s Because Love, a company that makes products to give to people who are going through cancer treatments. I was immediately drawn to this idea, and was able to interview Arona about Because Love. Read her interview below–it’s compelling and beautiful, and her story might make you tear up (it did for me).

You started this company because you lost a friend to cancer; can you tell me more about your relationship and what made you decide to give gifts to her to help her cope?

I had known Jessica for many years when we worked at CROBAR, which was an incredibly popular nightclub in Chicago. She worked with me as a bartender while I was the event director for the club. She was about 10 years younger than me and we developed this incredible sister-like relationship and grew very close. We shared a passion for loving Chicago and randomly enough also Costa Rica, which is a destination I fell in love with when I was volunteering there, and then I was a bridesmaid in her wedding when she got married in Costa Rica a few years later.

When Jessica got sick, I felt so helpless, and I didn’t know what to say or do. So I bought a blank journal and filled it with all sorts of stickers, rhinestones, and thought-out prompts to help to her get thru the fight of her life. I used my art therapy background to create pages that would help work through wherever she was on any given day. For the blanket, I wanted her to feel loved at every moment. So I tied some ribbons to a blanket and put inspirational messages, memories, and prayer verses on it, and told her that I made her a hug, and anytime she needed it she could wrap herself in the blanket.

After Jessica’s passing, a group of about 25 of us traveled to Costa Rica to celebrate her life for a week. During that time I really felt inspired to continue the creative process that would allow myself and others to help make those difficult conversations with those dealing with cancer a little easier. It’s not until you have someone near and dear to you with cancer, that you are so unsure of what to say, ask or do for that person. The Love Heals Journal and Big Hug Lap Blanket came to life pretty quickly – they both allow people to customize these items with personal messages to personally hand off or mail to people in their lives who are recently diagnosed. I originally gave handmade versions of these to Jessica, and she absolutely adored them more than any words, typical gifts or bouquet of flowers.

Everyone communicates in different ways, especially under unique circumstances such as dealing with a friend or loved one struggling. I also noticed that the gift options in the marketplace lacked sophisticated quality and that personal touch – so that is how it started. Because Love is there to fill that gap!

What are some other ways you recommend people to support a friend going through a hardship like cancer?

Be there and Love. That is what I suggest. There is never really the exact right thing to do or say when life gets ugly, so I think people just get scared and start trying to dish out advice, saying things like “hang in there” or “you got this,” which isn’t always helpful. Sometimes just being present, and loving them where they are is the best thing to do. We’ll never truly know what it’s like to be in their shoes, and the anxiety that comes with such a scary diagnosis. As women, we want to get up and start doing things on a checklist – organizing, planning, etc… which is all great, but sometimes just being that “3am phone call friend” who will be there to listen in the middle of the night is the best kind of support you can offer.

What do you think some of the most common misconceptions are when it comes to supporting people dealing with cancer?

People assume our friends and family going through treatment don’t want to talk about it or that they know exactly what they need when they need it. I can tell you first hand that going through treatment can be very lonely and these people have much to talk about. I say just meet them where they are, and love them. If they want to cry, cry with them, if they want to scream, you scream too. There are so many feelings and so many ups and down when it comes to cancer, that it can be confusing.

Open ended questions like “let me know if you need anything” (although well intended) lead to a lot more stress than necessary. It leaves your loved one with the stress of thoughts like “am I asking too much?”, “am I being a burden?”, “does she really have time for this” etc. Instead, try “Can I bring over some dinner Tuesday?” or “Can I come do some laundry/sit with you/hang out”, or “take your kids to the movies Friday night.” Giving your friend or loved one a simple question to say yes or no to is easier than having them come up with a task, and time, etc. Of course, don’t be offended if you don’t hear back right away… understand that your loved one is being bombarded with questions, and voicemails, and texts, and their silence is actually just being overwhelmed. Text them again in a few days anyway, or end a text with “don’t worry about texting me back, I just wanted you to know you are so loved, and I am with you in this.”

So, just be there for them as much as possible; they will love you forever for that, and offering to offload small tasks always helps as well. Those going through treatment don’t want to feel like a burden, but much of the time they won’t turn down the help. So please offer your love and support!

What are some messages you recommend writing on the message tags for people who just don’t know what to say?

This is a hard one, as every message is unique and personal to the one writing it. For me, I always tell them how much I love and support them. Let them know exactly what you love about them (we don’t really do that enough in life do we?)! It’s also always nice to include a compliment about what you admire about the person, as those traits will likely help them pull through those trying times. I like to put a funny memory, or inside joke. That way, when they read it, they smile.

Do you have any recommendations of resources for people who are “bad at empathy”?

I love ‘There Is No Good Card For This’ and think that’s a perfect read/handbook for life in general. The truth is, most people don’t know what to say and the first instinct is to give advice based off their own experiences. However, if you feel like what you may say is the wrong thing, I’d take a deep breath, and just be yourself. Asking questions never hurt anyone, and just say it from a place of love and compassion. Listening without judgement is also the perfect thing to do as well. Just being there for that person is enough, really, it is!

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